{Chrysler 300} Putting a square peg in a round hole

[Rob Kern <robkern@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>]

Hello 300’ly to all!
	Wayne Graefen told me when I became the C Model Year Consultant that I would learn all that is needed to know about the C in 5 years of filling the role! Well that was 14 years ago and a little over 2 weeks ago I gained another pearl of wisdom.  Trying to exude humility and knowing that self deprecation is the best way of being humorous and being humble (or is it humbled) is a great way to share wisdom to pass on.  So I was out driving Mopsy (Marnie was with Grand kids in Reston, VA) and drove out to Lake Lawtonka to check on the boat in its garage cocoon to pump up the fuel bowl and after that 30 second iteration jumped back in the car and voila (or lack thereof) my emergency brake warning light was not lighted!  OK simple fix, change the bulb and my next destiny was instead of Starbucks to go straight home and change the bulb.  Being OC I knew I just could NOT enjoy my Mocha Latte with a dead bulb in my precious Christine like 300C! So I crawl under the dash and manage to not cut my hand to shreds with jagged metal.  I managed to dislodge the socket from the ferrule (for lack of a better description) and sure enough the bulb was as black as the ebonite that my clarinet was made of when I played it back in the day!  Now here is where it gets interesting, scary and educational (also becomes a day without Starbucks!). I scrounge through my little plastic drawer dedicated to lightt bulbs and find one that looks just like the old bulb and surprise is inscribed with Made In China on the side!  So I with a grin go and attempt to put this bulb in the socket.  Going like trying to put a square peg in a round hole BUT I finally get it in!  About this time my neighbor across the street shows up to watch what I am doing.  (Great guy, has helped me through many Mopsy projects so of course he wants to see what degree of difficulty this one is). Oh, just changing a light bulb Steve! (Not like the 14 hours we spent hanging newly chromed front and rear bumpers in 2008). So I turn the ignition to ON and no light and then smoke!!  This  proved that Mopsy’s sinuses were clear in that it came out from the cowl vent!  Immediately I turned off the ignition switch.  The light blue wires going from the socket to the pin switch to the wiring harness were scrambled. WHAT!!!!  First thing I remembered was Brother-In-Law and best friend (also new Club member) GEORGE HAGERTY saying that 80% of the time that things that go wrong with old cars are electrical!  Steve then says well it is not just a light bulb fix now, and says he has to scram to pick stuff up for his mother who lives down the street! He did say that he was ready to get the fire extinguisher if I needed it (we both know where they are in both our homes as well as the hidden key so that he can get into our storm shelter if we are away). So I tracked the wire and found that the only part scrambled was what was involved with the emergency break light . Upon taking out the socket the bulb was clear!  HMMMM!  Not good!  Then when trying to remove the square peg from the round hole found that the contacts from the socket were welded to the bottom of the bulb!!!  Moral of story:  If the bulb doesn’t fit easily SOMETHING IS WRONG!!  (Forget your gynecological surgery background numb skull!) So a little voice said to call Jeff Carter (save face by confiding in him, he has not been in business in this hobby this long if not for being discreet, imagine how many reputations of MoPAR owners he has preserved by charging what ever to fix the problem created by numbskulls like me!). Jeff was surprisingly present at the shop on a Saturday afternoon and answered the phone.  Of course just hearing him say that I used a single contact bulb and not a dual contact #90 bulb and shorted the 2 contacts relaxed me.  " Rest assured, I can make you up a NOS socket and pin switch with the correct length wire and connectors, just send me the old fried stuff with the ferrule and I will do a one day turn around! “ exclaimed Jeff. THREE hours later I manage to get the wires and pin switch and socket out!  The emergency brake handle Allen screw would not budge in order for me to remove the under dash housing that contained the light and wiper switches also. I managed to unscrew the housing from the underside edge of the dash (getting cut this time) and moving the bezel out toward the brake handle so that I could wedge my head (definitely not swollen with pride but shrunk with humility) and with the assistance of my cell phone light get a small Phillips head screw driver in to remove the 2 screws holding the pin switch! Must have good eyelid reflexes to prevent screws from falling back into your eye when removing and replacing the screws however.  Yes, I did have  chocks behind the rear wheels should I knock the emergency brake handle and it release!  Not enough room for eyeglasses or safety goggles to be worn!  IS THERE EVER ANYTHING EASILY DONE WHEN WORKING ON A ’57 CHRYSLER?? Anyway I got it all out and shipped the fried part of the wiring harness with socket, etc. to Jeff. Good to his word Jeff had it arrive to my home the day I dropped Marnie at the airport to take care of the Minneapolis grand kids! Jeff included the correct bulb with the #90 type on the invoice and the correct connector for the power to come off an auxiliary terminal in the back of the fuel gauge. HMMM!  My wire was connected to the wire coming directly off the ignition switch done by the guy who rewired the car back in 2003 when it underwent major renovation.  Ok, so I was lucky on this deal that the wire was not connected to the gauge cluster because if it was I may have fried the fuel gauge and perhaps the electrical conductivity to the fuel sending unit in guess where?  THE FUEL TANK!  Anyway I reconnected the wiring with new connectors as it was done in 2003 with all four wires with good insulation removal for the shrink wrapped connector and installed the new socket, etc. back in place in 1.5 hours with no cuts to the hands! I turned the ignition to ON and the emergency brake light was bright and then engaged the starter button and IT STARTED!!!  Thank you 300 Angels Jeff and Lisa Carter!  All electrical stuff checked out fine in the car and I drove her 40 miles this weekend, and YES to Starbucks!  So remember if you have a C (and probably the same for the D) if you need to replace an emergency brake warning light bulb use a #90 double contact bulb.  I found two more at O’Reilly’s to keep in stock in my little plastic bulb drawer!  Rob Kern

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