Something I Found, About Tools!!

[Herb <zephyr9900@xxxxxxxxxxx>]

Tools Explained
 
 
DRILL PRESS:
 
A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat metal bar stock
out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest and flings your beer
across the room, denting the freshly painted project, which you had
carefully set in the corner where nothing could get to it.

WIRE WHEEL:
 
Cleans paint off bolts and then throws them somewhere under the workbench
with the speed of light.  Also removes fingerprints and hard-earned calluses
from fingers in about the time it takes you to say, "Oh, s$!t!"

SKILL SAW:


A portable cutting tool used to make studs too short.

PLIERS:
 
Used to round off bolt heads.  Sometimes used in the creation of
blood-blisters.

BELT SANDER:
 
An electric sanding tool commonly used to convert minor touch-up jobs into
major refinishing jobs.

HACKSAW:
 
One of a family of cutting tools built on the Ouija board principle...  It
transforms human energy into a crooked, unpredictable motion, and the more
you attempt to influence its course, the more dismal your future becomes.

VISE-GRIPS:
 
Generally used after pliers to completely round off bolt heads.  If nothing
else is available, they can also be used to transfer intense welding heat to
the palm of your hand.

OXYACETYLENE TORCH:
 
Used almost entirely for lighting various flammable objects in your shop on
fire.  Also handy for igniting the grease inside the wheel hub out of which
you want to remove a bearing race.

TABLE SAW:
 
A large stationary power tool commonly used to launch wood projectiles for
testing wall integrity.

HYDRAULIC FLOOR JACK:  


Used for lowering an automobile to the ground after you have installed your
new brake shoes, trapping the jack handle firmly under the bumper.

BAND SAW:

A large stationary power saw primarily used by most shops to cut good
aluminum sheet into  smaller pieces that more easily fit into the trash can
after you cut on the inside of the line instead  of the outside edge.



TWO-TON ENGINE HOIST: 
 
A tool for testing the maximum tensile strength of everything you forgot to
disconnect.

PHILLIPS SCREWDRIVER:

Normally used to stab the vacuum seals under lids or for opening old-style
paper-and-tin oil cans and splashing oil on your shirt; but can also be used
 as the name
Implies, to strip out Phillips screw heads.

STRAIGHT SCREWDRIVER:

A tool for opening paint cans.  Sometimes used to convert common slotted
screws into non-removable screws and butchering your palms.

PRY BAR:
 
A tool used to crumple the metal surrounding that clip or bracket you needed
to remove in order to replace a 50-cent part.

HOSE CUTTER:
 
A tool used to make hoses too short.
          


Herb 
 
1956 Plymouth Belvedere 361
1959 Coronet 326 Poly
1963 Fury 2D/HT 6.1
1963 Sport Fury Convertible 361
1970 Challenger RT 440 - 4 Sale
1999 Durango SLT 5.9
2008 SRT-8 Magnum 6.1
St. Louis, MO.
 
http://1962to1965mopar.ornocar.com/mmo42009.html
  
 
 
 
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