Dear IML,
I hope you nice people can help me, I'm in a lot of
trouble. For those of you who haven't made my
aquaintance, I am a 1966 Crown 2 door coupe. I don't
think there were many of my type made; most of my
brothers and sisters on the car lot were 4 door
models. Anyway, my problem is that the last guy to
lay hands on me did so because he wanted to drive me
into other cars, thus winning some type of a trophy
and acclaim from his fellow knuckledragginmorons.
Fortunately, where he lives, they seem to have some
sort of a law prohibiting my kind from being used in
these "demolition debies". I always was grateful for
that, and hoped it was because I was such a special
car. Alas, he seems bent on selling me to someone who
will take me where they have no such laws.
I really hope I don't end up this way. I've seen many
of my brothers and sisters die this horrible death,
red-necked yokels with dirty beer shouting and hooting
as the cars smoke and crash together. I realize I'm
not much of a catch, though. I've already been
stripped of my wonderful 440 and my trusty 727. I'm
also quite dirty, and missing many parts. But, my
body is still solid, and with a little tender love and
care and a new powerplant I could once again see the
highways of this country. I long to traverse these
thorofares again, and see smiling faces as I pass. To
rocket down country roads and cruise through towns and
cities.
Thank you for your time, and I hope that one of you
sees fit to welcome me into your garage.
Sincerely,
Impy, 1966 2 door coupe
=====
--Mike Pittinaro
Piles of pitted chrome
Hubcaps along the floorboard
My junkyard-bedroom
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