[FWDLK] Fw: You Might be a Baptist If:

["Jim Hayes" <jwhayes@xxxxxxxx>]

----- Original Message -----
From: Rebecca Brown <rjbrown@xxxxxxx>
To: Mike and Brenda Marra <Marra@xxxxxxx>; Tom Minks <tminks@xxxxxxx>; Becky
Fejarang <bfejarang@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>; John & Jennifer <jjhmbro@xxxxxxxxxxx>;
melanie poole <wymanandmelpoole@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx>; Jim Hayes
<jwhayes@xxxxxxxx>; Kim Bautista <N2kidsandbaskets@xxxxxxx>; kitty price
<ecirpdk@xxxxxxxx>; Beth Harr <BHarr465@xxxxxxx>; Mary Ellen Crump
<Vincepat11@xxxxxxx>; 'pat&bealle' <bealle.dawson@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
Sent: Monday, May 22, 2000 9:28 PM
Subject: You Might be a Baptist If:


>
> > YOU MIGHT BE A BAPTIST IF:
> >
> > 1.  You believe you are supposed to take a covered dish to heaven when
> > you die.
> > 2.  You have never sung the third verse of any hymn.
> > 3.  You have ever put an IOU in the collection plate.
> > 4.  You think God's presence is always strongest in the back three pews.
> > 5.  You think John the Baptist founded the Southern Baptist Convention.
> > 6.  You clapped in church last Sunday and felt guilty about it all week.
> > 7.  You judge the quality of a service by its duration.
> > 8.  You also judge the quality of the sermon by how much sweat the
> > preacher worked up.
> > 9.  You think the Holy Land is Nashville.
> > 10. You are old enough to get a senior citizen discount at the pharmacy
> > but not old enough to be prompted into the senior adult Sunday School
> Class.
> > 11. You think someone who says "amen" while the Pastor is preaching
> > might be a charismatic.
> > 12. You complained because your Pastor only works one day a week and
> > then he works too long.
> > 13. You think "Amazing Grace" is the national anthem.
> > 14. The first complete sentence you uttered was "We've never done it
> > this way before."
> > 15. You think the epistles are probably the wives of the apostles.
> > 16  Your definition of "fellowship" has something to do with food.
> > 17. You wonder if Lottie Moon and Annie Armstrong will ever be paid off.
> > 18. You honestly believe the Apostle Paul spoke King James English.
> > 19. You think worship service music has to be loud.
> > 20. You think Jesus actually used Welch's grape juice and saltine
> > crackers.
> > 21. You think preachers who wear robes are in cahoots with the
> > communists.
> > 22  You once woke up craving fried chicken and interpreted that as a
> > call to preach.
> >
>
>
>